1
00:00:07,507 --> 00:00:08,633
[exhales]
2
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:10,885
[exhales]
3
00:00:13,304 --> 00:00:14,139
[exhales]
4
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:17,225
- What are you doin'?
- Tryin' to make my hair grow faster.
5
00:00:20,186 --> 00:00:22,689
Mom, is it hard to make a volcano?
6
00:00:22,689 --> 00:00:24,482
I need to make one for my science fair.
7
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:27,193
Start with somethin' a little easier,
like making your bed.
8
00:00:28,403 --> 00:00:30,947
Hey, Mrs. H, can I help Jake
build his volcano?
9
00:00:31,573 --> 00:00:32,907
- Really?
- Yeah.
10
00:00:32,907 --> 00:00:34,200
I've always wanted to do that.
11
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,494
My father hated doin' stuff with me.
12
00:00:36,494 --> 00:00:38,788
He would always have
my projects professionally made.
13
00:00:38,788 --> 00:00:42,709
One year, for science fair,
my project was a dialysis machine.
14
00:00:44,544 --> 00:00:45,378
Thanks, Van.
15
00:00:45,378 --> 00:00:47,964
Can we make the volcano spit real fire?
16
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:51,885
[laughing] Real fire!
Well, let's not get carried away.
17
00:00:53,678 --> 00:00:54,721
Huge fire.
18
00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:58,183
Hey, Reba.
19
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:02,687
Just so you know,
the situation is under control.
20
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:04,230
What situation?
21
00:01:04,230 --> 00:01:06,524
Is Kyra allergic to any medicines?
22
00:01:06,524 --> 00:01:08,443
- Is Kyra sick?
- Sorry. Yeah. Yeah.
23
00:01:08,443 --> 00:01:11,196
I need to borrow
a heating pad and a blowtorch.
24
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:15,658
- Yeah.
- A blowtorch?
25
00:01:15,658 --> 00:01:18,203
Well, I'm making crème brûlée,
but that's not the point.
26
00:01:22,290 --> 00:01:25,335
- Oh, honey, what's wrong?
- I'll tell you what's wrong.
27
00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:27,545
She's sick. On Tuesday.
28
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,464
The day I read to the blind.
29
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:33,384
Who's going to tell them I'm not there?
30
00:01:36,638 --> 00:01:37,722
Let's take a look.
31
00:01:38,681 --> 00:01:39,682
Put your tongue out.
32
00:01:41,017 --> 00:01:42,477
Put your tongue in.
33
00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,853
Put your tongue out.
34
00:01:43,853 --> 00:01:45,563
♪ Now shake it all about ♪
35
00:01:46,815 --> 00:01:49,234
Reba, you do not hokey pokey with the ill.
36
00:01:50,568 --> 00:01:51,903
She's fakin'.
37
00:01:51,903 --> 00:01:55,573
Trust me. I can spot a sick kid
from 50 yards in a dense fog.
38
00:01:55,573 --> 00:01:58,368
And she's not sick. All right, Kyra,
what's goin' on with you?
39
00:01:59,077 --> 00:02:00,120
- Nothing.
- [chuckles]
40
00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:02,664
Okay, you can tell me why
you're fakin' it,
41
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,207
or you can go to school right now.
42
00:02:04,207 --> 00:02:07,043
But if I told you why I was faking,
then you'd know I was faking,
43
00:02:07,043 --> 00:02:08,962
and then you'd make me
go to school anyway.
44
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,964
- So, there's really no upside.
- Mm-hmm.
45
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:15,635
Well, I suggest you change, or you're
gonna go to school in your jammies.
46
00:02:16,553 --> 00:02:17,428
Fine.
47
00:02:17,428 --> 00:02:19,347
I hope I get sick for real.
48
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:20,682
Oh, that'll teach us.
49
00:02:23,935 --> 00:02:26,813
Man, I am so easily fooled.
50
00:02:27,480 --> 00:02:29,983
I wonder if all those people
I read to are really blind.
51
00:02:32,944 --> 00:02:35,029
I think some of 'em are just lazy.
52
00:02:37,574 --> 00:02:39,826
- Did that seem odd to you?
- Yes.
53
00:02:40,785 --> 00:02:41,786
Why?
54
00:02:42,620 --> 00:02:44,414
Because Kyra's never faked being sick.
55
00:02:44,414 --> 00:02:46,833
She's faked being well,
'cause she wants to go to school.
56
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:50,211
I'm gonna call down to the school,
see if something's going on.
57
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:53,464
Or, we could disguise ourselves
as teenage girls
58
00:02:53,464 --> 00:02:55,508
and infiltrate her circle of friends.
59
00:02:57,927 --> 00:02:59,053
Oh, boy.
60
00:03:00,054 --> 00:03:01,681
[theme song playing]
61
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:02,932
[Reba] Hey, hey.
62
00:03:02,932 --> 00:03:05,768
{\an8}♪ My roots are planted in the past ♪
63
00:03:05,768 --> 00:03:08,187
{\an8}♪ Though my life is changing fast ♪
64
00:03:08,187 --> 00:03:12,275
♪ Who I am is who I want to be ♪
65
00:03:12,775 --> 00:03:15,069
{\an8}♪ A single mom who works too hard ♪
66
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:17,822
{\an8}♪ Who loves her kids and never stops ♪
67
00:03:17,822 --> 00:03:18,948
♪ With gentle hands ♪
68
00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:23,161
{\an8}♪ And the heart of a fighter ♪
69
00:03:24,329 --> 00:03:27,874
{\an8}♪ I'm a survivor ♪
70
00:03:38,718 --> 00:03:40,178
Well, hey there, pretty girl.
71
00:03:45,850 --> 00:03:46,726
{\an8}Oh, no!
72
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,020
{\an8}You said you'd help me
reorganize the attic.
73
00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:50,772
{\an8}You are not hittin' the course right now.
74
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,567
{\an8}You know, sweetheart, since golf is
gonna be my new job,
75
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:58,279
{\an8}we really should consider
the course as my office.
76
00:03:58,279 --> 00:04:01,199
{\an8}So, I'm going to the office.
77
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,534
{\an8}Sit down, Brock. We need to talk.
78
00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,455
{\an8}Well, isn't this great?
Maybe I should get a third wife.
79
00:04:07,455 --> 00:04:09,707
{\an8}Then I'd never have to play golf.
80
00:04:10,541 --> 00:04:11,459
{\an8}What's up?
81
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:14,170
{\an8}Well, after Kyra's little "illness"
this morning,
82
00:04:14,170 --> 00:04:16,047
{\an8}I made a call down to the school.
83
00:04:16,047 --> 00:04:18,925
{\an8}Apparently, she's been absent
four times this month.
84
00:04:19,634 --> 00:04:20,677
{\an8}Hey.
85
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:23,429
{\an8}Whoops! My mistake.
86
00:04:23,429 --> 00:04:25,431
{\an8}I walked into the room marked "Lynch Mob."
87
00:04:26,015 --> 00:04:26,849
{\an8}Park it!
88
00:04:27,642 --> 00:04:30,353
{\an8}Kyra, is it true you missed
four days of school?
89
00:04:30,353 --> 00:04:32,063
Barbra Jean, you signed the notes.
90
00:04:33,356 --> 00:04:36,317
You tricked me!
You didn't want my autograph!
91
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,076
{\an8}And on the days when she did
attend school, she was cuttin' classes.
92
00:04:45,076 --> 00:04:47,912
{\an8}- Cutting? You don't cut classes.
- Exactly!
93
00:04:48,997 --> 00:04:52,458
{\an8}And I, for one, would like to
know what's going on, little missy.
94
00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:53,960
Nothing's going on.
95
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,963
Kyra, we're gonna get to
the bottom of this,
96
00:04:56,963 --> 00:04:59,340
even if it means
we have to stay here till...
97
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:01,926
3:15 to do it.
98
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:08,141
Fine. A couple of kids at school
have been giving me a hard time,
99
00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,268
and, some days,
I don't feel like dealing with it.
100
00:05:10,268 --> 00:05:11,311
[gasps]
101
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:13,730
It's always the bullies,
102
00:05:13,730 --> 00:05:16,065
or the jocks, or the preps.
103
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:18,484
The nerds aren't all that friendly either.
104
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,656
How long has this been goin' on?
105
00:05:23,656 --> 00:05:24,866
My whole life.
106
00:05:29,203 --> 00:05:30,163
Kyra?
107
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:32,415
I don't know. A while.
108
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:34,625
- Sweetheart, why didn't you say anything?
- Yeah.
109
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,669
Why? So you could call
a parent-teacher conference
110
00:05:36,669 --> 00:05:38,337
and embarrass me in front of everyone?
111
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:39,464
- No.
- No.
112
00:05:39,464 --> 00:05:43,468
So we could discuss the situation
and find a rational solution.
113
00:05:43,468 --> 00:05:45,762
I think we should call
a parent-teacher conference.
114
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:50,016
Oh, no. You do not
go cryin' to the teacher.
115
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,518
[scoffs] That only gets you
shoved in a locker
116
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,812
with chalk up your nose
and duct tape in your hair.
117
00:05:57,857 --> 00:05:59,692
Honey, I wish I'd been there
to protect you.
118
00:05:59,692 --> 00:06:01,235
Except you were 34.
119
00:06:06,574 --> 00:06:08,701
It would be easier if
I could just switch schools.
120
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:10,203
Kyra. Honey.
121
00:06:10,953 --> 00:06:14,332
In my experience, there are only
two ways to deal with bullies.
122
00:06:14,332 --> 00:06:17,043
You can hide in the bushes
until they forget about you,
123
00:06:17,043 --> 00:06:19,253
or you can buy them presents.
124
00:06:19,796 --> 00:06:21,214
[imperceptible]
125
00:06:21,214 --> 00:06:24,634
Which reminds me, Reba, I picked you up
a little something at the mall yesterday.
126
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:35,228
Oh, hey, Mrs. H. If you need us,
127
00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,855
we're gonna be in the garage
building our mountain of death.
128
00:06:38,397 --> 00:06:40,566
This puppy's gonna have molten lava,
129
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:44,195
miniature trees and tiny little villagers
running for their lives.
130
00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:49,033
- Say hello to Pedro.
- Oh.
131
00:06:49,867 --> 00:06:50,910
Hello, Pedro.
132
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:53,287
He's a blacksmith, and he's about to die.
133
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:57,500
- Can I play with him?
- No!
134
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:06,217
[chuckles] Well, I mean,
just be careful, buddy. They're fragile.
135
00:07:06,217 --> 00:07:08,386
- [Van chuckles]
- [Jake humming]
136
00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:14,434
Reba, we have a situation.
And this time, it's real.
137
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:17,270
Yeah. We were called down
to pick up Kyra from school.
138
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:20,064
Apparently, she got into
an argument with some girl
139
00:07:20,648 --> 00:07:22,150
and punched her in the mouth.
140
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:25,653
What? Kyra hit someone?
Kyra, is this true?
141
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,697
Ah, you know how it is on the playground.
142
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:30,867
One minute, we're drinkin',
the next, we're throwing punches.
143
00:07:32,368 --> 00:07:33,494
Hey, guys.
144
00:07:33,494 --> 00:07:34,787
Hey, Kyra.
145
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:38,082
Man, I hope I can move out one day,
so I can constantly be here.
146
00:07:38,833 --> 00:07:42,170
Don't mess with Kyra.
She punched a girl at school.
147
00:07:42,170 --> 00:07:46,966
Oh. I knew it was only a matter of time
before Miss Congeniality snapped.
148
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,968
Spell "congeniality."
149
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:51,637
Spell "no."
150
00:07:52,847 --> 00:07:54,432
Okay. Spell "knock it off."
151
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:58,186
All right, girls, we don't have time
for this Cheyenne-Kyra lovefest.
152
00:07:58,186 --> 00:07:59,729
Kyra, what's going on with you?
153
00:07:59,729 --> 00:08:01,772
- Nothing.
- We're losin' her, Reba.
154
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:05,067
Losin' her to the mean streets of Houston.
155
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:09,947
- Why would you punch some girl?
- It's how she shows affection.
156
00:08:09,947 --> 00:08:12,492
That's right. So why don't you
come here for a little hug?
157
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,703
- Oh!
- Girls! Girls! Girls!
158
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:16,954
Stop it.
159
00:08:16,954 --> 00:08:18,039
Kyra, start talking.
160
00:08:18,706 --> 00:08:20,917
She started messing with me,
so I took a swing at her.
161
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,169
I didn't even think I'd connect.
It's no big deal.
162
00:08:23,169 --> 00:08:25,546
Oh, I think a little girl
going home from school
163
00:08:25,546 --> 00:08:28,466
with a steak pressed to her face
is a big deal.
164
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:31,010
What on God's green earth made you snap?
165
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,888
Have you considered the fact
that she's a total psycho?
166
00:08:34,764 --> 00:08:36,599
- Shut up.
- You shut up.
167
00:08:36,599 --> 00:08:39,435
- Girls, this is your last warning.
- I gotta get out of here.
168
00:08:40,061 --> 00:08:43,773
Kyra, what did that girl do
to make you lose it?
169
00:08:45,191 --> 00:08:46,859
She called Cheyenne a slut, okay?
170
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:50,363
She called Cheyenne a slut,
so I punched her.
171
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:56,327
Oh, my gosh! My psycho sister loves me!
172
00:09:08,339 --> 00:09:11,133
Kyra standing up for Cheyenne.
173
00:09:12,218 --> 00:09:15,638
I hear the words,
but I can't wrap my head around them.
174
00:09:18,474 --> 00:09:21,352
I cannot believe that girl
called me a slut.
175
00:09:21,352 --> 00:09:24,146
I was so far from a slut. I was a tease.
176
00:09:26,148 --> 00:09:29,694
Cheyenne, if you were a tease,
I wouldn't be a grandfather yet.
177
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,952
Even if Kyra was standing up for Cheyenne,
178
00:09:37,952 --> 00:09:40,830
we still have a huge problem.
She decked that girl.
179
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,832
But she was defending
a member of our family,
180
00:09:42,832 --> 00:09:45,251
- which is what our family has always done.
- Yes.
181
00:09:45,251 --> 00:09:48,337
Reba, if I didn't know better,
I'd say you approve of this.
182
00:09:48,337 --> 00:09:50,548
- Is that a slam against my family?
- Whoa! Hey! Hey!
183
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:53,801
Come on, Barbra Jean.
184
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:55,845
- You heard what that girl called me.
- Yeah.
185
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:58,055
Plus, it takes one to know one.
186
00:09:58,055 --> 00:09:59,307
Except I'm not one.
187
00:09:59,307 --> 00:10:01,767
But if I was one, then she would
have to be one, you know...
188
00:10:02,893 --> 00:10:03,728
too.
189
00:10:07,273 --> 00:10:10,401
- Kyra still has to be punished.
- Oh, you got that right.
190
00:10:10,401 --> 00:10:13,112
If we don't, she could turn on us.
191
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:14,905
And I bruise like a peach.
192
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:19,493
I do not want my baby sister to suffer
193
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:22,413
because of some name-calling girl,
who I bet is stupid and ugly.
194
00:10:23,831 --> 00:10:25,416
Just be tough with her, Reba.
195
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:28,169
It's the only thing her kind understands.
196
00:10:28,169 --> 00:10:30,296
Oh, hey there, buttercup.
197
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,342
Kyra. Kyra, come here.
198
00:10:34,884 --> 00:10:35,885
Look at me.
199
00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:39,722
I want you to hear me
when I say this, okay?
200
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,474
I love
201
00:10:42,391 --> 00:10:43,934
you loving me.
202
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:45,603
I do.
203
00:10:45,603 --> 00:10:48,147
Wow. That almost wasn't about you.
204
00:10:51,817 --> 00:10:54,320
Kyra, we're all very happy
that you stuck up for your sister.
205
00:10:54,320 --> 00:10:57,490
Yes, but hitting that girl was wrong,
206
00:10:57,490 --> 00:10:59,367
and there need to be consequences.
207
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,411
So, you're going have to be punished,
right, Reba?
208
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:04,997
[sighs] Yes.
209
00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:06,415
I'm sorry, but your dad's right.
210
00:11:06,999 --> 00:11:11,087
So, I'm afraid there will be
no Jackson Browne concert next month.
211
00:11:12,254 --> 00:11:14,173
- Who the heck is Jack--
- Ah!
212
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:21,305
Don't push it.
213
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,643
I never knew you felt that way about me.
214
00:11:25,643 --> 00:11:27,311
Can we not make a big deal about this?
215
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,312
Anything you want.
216
00:11:28,312 --> 00:11:30,898
Because, as of now, we are spending
every free moment together.
217
00:11:30,898 --> 00:11:32,066
I'm taking you to the mall.
218
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:33,025
- Wha-- What?
- Come on!
219
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:35,069
No. Please, just one more punch.
220
00:11:43,285 --> 00:11:44,286
[tv playing indistinctly]
221
00:11:44,286 --> 00:11:47,081
Jake? Shouldn't you and Van
be workin' on your project?
222
00:11:47,957 --> 00:11:50,042
Van gave me $10 to leave him alone.
223
00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:51,794
What?
224
00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,922
Bring me a virgin!
225
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,187
Mrs. H, you have to take a look at this.
226
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:14,525
First, smoke and glowing lights
signal the eruption.
227
00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:19,071
Then this trigger mixes the vinegar
and baking soda to form the lava.
228
00:12:19,071 --> 00:12:21,532
And then, finally,
a spring-loaded mechanism
229
00:12:21,532 --> 00:12:23,617
sends the whole thing
straight to the ceiling.
230
00:12:23,617 --> 00:12:25,411
[laughs maniacally]
231
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,580
You want to see? You probably
should wear goggles.
232
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,499
Van, did Jake help you build this?
233
00:12:30,499 --> 00:12:33,335
Oh, yeah, about that,
he's not very good with his hands.
234
00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,839
This is Jake's project, not yours.
235
00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:39,091
Plus, that thing weighs more than he does.
236
00:12:39,758 --> 00:12:41,510
But-- But Mrs. H, look at it.
237
00:12:42,094 --> 00:12:44,930
It's beautiful. There's no way
he won't get an "A."
238
00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:46,682
An "A" is not the point.
239
00:12:48,225 --> 00:12:49,977
Do you even remember school?
240
00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:56,442
Do you remember when I helped Jake
build his model of the Alamo last year?
241
00:12:56,442 --> 00:12:58,360
Oh, you're kidding. He had help with that?
242
00:12:59,737 --> 00:13:00,738
Hmm.
243
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,283
He put glitter in the courtyard
and a unicorn in the stables.
244
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:07,453
Two details you won't find
in the history book, but it was cute.
245
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:10,789
I let him do it his way
because it was his project.
246
00:13:11,999 --> 00:13:14,293
And after we were finished,
he felt good about it.
247
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:17,588
How is this any different than
what your father used to do with you?
248
00:13:21,675 --> 00:13:23,135
- You're right.
- Yeah.
249
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,971
- I've turned into my dad.
- Well.
250
00:13:27,598 --> 00:13:29,058
Next thing you know, I'll be
251
00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:32,102
calling people "sport"
and gettin' hair plugs.
252
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:39,109
[remote clicks]
253
00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:41,654
Hey, listen, sport.
254
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,991
- [gasps]
- [mouthing] Go on.
255
00:13:49,286 --> 00:13:51,163
Look, maybe this volcano's a little...
256
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:52,873
busy.
257
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:56,669
How about me and you,
we make another one, together.
258
00:13:56,669 --> 00:13:58,837
- What do you say?
- Really?
259
00:13:59,755 --> 00:14:01,006
Do I have to?
260
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,762
- Yes.
- Okay.
261
00:14:07,930 --> 00:14:11,016
But instead of lava,
can it shoot out glitter?
262
00:14:16,855 --> 00:14:18,899
Glitter. [chuckles]
263
00:14:19,775 --> 00:14:23,028
Sure. We'll call it
"Volcano, the Musical."
264
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,701
Kyra, I'm just saying that you should kiss
as many boys as you can,
265
00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,703
because one day you wake up and boom!
266
00:14:30,703 --> 00:14:32,663
It's senior year and you're married.
267
00:14:35,416 --> 00:14:38,085
Well, if it isn't the Bobbsey Twins.
You guys have a good time?
268
00:14:38,085 --> 00:14:41,297
- Oh, it was great!
- That's the first breath she's taken.
269
00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:43,757
- [laughing] You are so hilarious.
- Ow.
270
00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:47,303
It is so cool having
such a hilarious sister.
271
00:14:48,470 --> 00:14:52,683
Take good care of my hilarious sister
while I'm upstairs, okay, Mommy?
272
00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:58,856
Well, if you were
a little older, I'd offer you a drink.
273
00:15:02,651 --> 00:15:05,529
- Let me make you some tea?
- Thanks. Oh, wait. Wait a minute.
274
00:15:07,114 --> 00:15:08,490
Mom, I gotta confess something.
275
00:15:09,116 --> 00:15:11,327
And if you ever tell anyone
I said this, I'll deny it,
276
00:15:11,327 --> 00:15:13,913
and I'll never tell you anything
ever again, ever.
277
00:15:14,830 --> 00:15:15,664
What is it?
278
00:15:16,457 --> 00:15:18,250
I actually had
a pretty good time with her.
279
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:23,297
[laughing]
280
00:15:25,007 --> 00:15:26,884
Don't worry, your secret's safe with me.
281
00:15:26,884 --> 00:15:28,636
Nobody would have believed it anyway.
282
00:15:31,221 --> 00:15:33,265
[whistling]
283
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:36,268
Reba, we have a huge problem.
284
00:15:36,268 --> 00:15:38,979
No, we don't.
Cheyenne and Kyra are friends.
285
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,773
- All's well in the world.
- Yeah.
286
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:43,275
Uh, I just got a call
from Kyra's principal.
287
00:15:43,275 --> 00:15:45,903
They have a zero-tolerance policy
towards violence.
288
00:15:45,903 --> 00:15:49,448
- They're kicking her out of school.
- What? They can't do that!
289
00:15:49,448 --> 00:15:50,950
Zero tolerance, Reba.
290
00:15:51,617 --> 00:15:53,327
Do you know how much tolerance they have?
291
00:15:55,871 --> 00:15:56,914
Zero.
292
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,876
That's completely unfair.
She's one of their best students.
293
00:16:00,876 --> 00:16:02,002
I told them that.
294
00:16:02,002 --> 00:16:05,714
Sure, she had a little lapse in judgment,
but that's no reason to ruin her life.
295
00:16:05,714 --> 00:16:09,009
- I told them that, too.
- Well, you didn't tell them loud enough.
296
00:16:09,009 --> 00:16:11,387
I'm gonna go down there
and talk to those people.
297
00:16:11,929 --> 00:16:13,347
Yeah, I told them that, too.
298
00:16:15,891 --> 00:16:17,768
You know who else has zero tolerance?
299
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:19,186
Reba!
300
00:16:27,194 --> 00:16:29,655
Mom, do you think we should be doing this?
301
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:32,199
They're gonna get mad.
They might kick Jake out of school.
302
00:16:32,199 --> 00:16:34,243
Kyra, you stood up for Cheyenne.
303
00:16:34,243 --> 00:16:36,120
We're gonna stand up for you.
304
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:37,705
- But I don't--
- No buts!
305
00:16:37,705 --> 00:16:39,665
That's what family does, okay?
Have a seat.
306
00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,627
I've been out of high school
almost 30 years.
307
00:16:43,627 --> 00:16:46,714
It still makes me nervous to go
to the principal's office. [chuckles]
308
00:16:48,340 --> 00:16:49,717
Are you chewing gum?
309
00:16:53,804 --> 00:16:55,305
- No.
- [sighs]
310
00:16:57,307 --> 00:16:59,852
Yes, you are. Are you trying to get us
into even more trouble?
311
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,062
Now, get rid of it. Swallow it.
312
00:17:05,983 --> 00:17:06,900
[gags]
313
00:17:09,611 --> 00:17:10,946
I'm good. Okay. I'm good.
314
00:17:12,781 --> 00:17:14,658
So, what's our plan of attack?
315
00:17:14,658 --> 00:17:17,244
Okay. Well, we open up
with Kyra's school record.
316
00:17:17,244 --> 00:17:19,830
Straight-A student, honor roll,
that sort of thing.
317
00:17:19,830 --> 00:17:23,417
And then we point out that there are
thousands of students in this school,
318
00:17:23,417 --> 00:17:24,877
and she's only decked one.
319
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:28,922
Wow. That is brilliant.
320
00:17:28,922 --> 00:17:30,674
- Thank you.
- [hiccups]
321
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,595
Hey!
322
00:17:37,973 --> 00:17:39,600
My gum came back.
323
00:17:41,143 --> 00:17:42,352
That is a good omen.
324
00:17:43,812 --> 00:17:45,481
- Hey, guys.
- Cheyenne.
325
00:17:45,481 --> 00:17:48,567
Oh, it was so sweet of you to come
down here to support your sister.
326
00:17:48,567 --> 00:17:50,527
Are you kidding me?
After what Kyra did for me,
327
00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,030
there is no way I'm lettin' them
kick her out of school.
328
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:54,948
Mom, do we really have to do this?
329
00:17:54,948 --> 00:17:56,784
Honey, look, I know you're nervous,
330
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:59,119
but we've got to go in there
and tell them what happened.
331
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:00,162
I just want to go home.
332
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:01,914
- I know.
- Sweetheart, it'll be fine.
333
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:04,249
Hey, I've got a great idea.
334
00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:07,044
We should have Cheyenne tell the story.
335
00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,421
- Can you cry on cue?
- Are you kidding?
336
00:18:09,421 --> 00:18:11,256
Guess who has never had a traffic ticket.
337
00:18:11,256 --> 00:18:13,425
- [laughs]
- Me, too!
338
00:18:13,425 --> 00:18:16,261
Okay. Cheyenne and I are gonna cry.
339
00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,514
Mom.
340
00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:21,642
Don't worry. If it looks fake,
I'll make 'em stop.
341
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,685
Stop.
342
00:18:26,438 --> 00:18:27,731
Mrs. Hart?
343
00:18:28,398 --> 00:18:29,316
Mom, don't do this.
344
00:18:29,316 --> 00:18:32,027
- Kyra, I told you--
- I wasn't defending Cheyenne!
345
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,654
I wanted to get kicked out.
346
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:37,366
Are you coming?
347
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:39,201
Uh...
348
00:18:39,993 --> 00:18:41,245
we're gonna need a minute.
349
00:18:45,624 --> 00:18:47,126
What are you talkin' about?
350
00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:49,294
Are you saying that girl
didn't call me a slut?
351
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:53,465
No, she called you a slut and a loser
and a teenage baby machine.
352
00:18:53,465 --> 00:18:56,051
[gasps] You could have just said yes.
353
00:18:56,051 --> 00:18:57,136
I know.
354
00:18:59,888 --> 00:19:02,808
She also said that I was
gonna be just like Cheyenne.
355
00:19:02,808 --> 00:19:04,977
Which is what everybody says all the time.
356
00:19:05,561 --> 00:19:09,022
I'm just tired of hearing, "Hey, Kyra,
how many kids are you gonna have by prom?"
357
00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:09,982
[gasps]
358
00:19:09,982 --> 00:19:12,693
Well, did you also say that
Cheyenne is going to college now,
359
00:19:12,693 --> 00:19:14,111
and she has an A-minus average?
360
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,446
It's not my job to defend her.
361
00:19:16,446 --> 00:19:18,323
I just want to live my own life.
362
00:19:18,323 --> 00:19:20,909
I want to go to some school
where nobody's heard of Cheyenne.
363
00:19:21,785 --> 00:19:23,704
Kyra, I'm sorry
you're carrying all this weight.
364
00:19:23,704 --> 00:19:26,456
- But you're goin' about this all wrong.
- What am I supposed to do?
365
00:19:26,456 --> 00:19:28,667
Stay here and be miserable
for the next three years?
366
00:19:28,667 --> 00:19:31,628
Honey, when things are tough,
you stick with it.
367
00:19:39,219 --> 00:19:41,054
Well, at least I didn't hit anybody.
368
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,224
Kyra, honey.
369
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:47,686
We've gotta go in there
and tell them what's been going on.
370
00:19:47,686 --> 00:19:51,815
Because if we decide to go to another
school, it needs to be on your terms,
371
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:53,483
not because you were kicked out.
372
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,652
So you'll let me transfer?
373
00:19:58,405 --> 00:20:00,532
We'll cross this bridge,
and then we'll talk about it.
374
00:20:01,491 --> 00:20:03,118
- All right.
- Ready?
375
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:07,915
I'll be there in a minute.
376
00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:11,793
Oh. Okay.
377
00:20:13,879 --> 00:20:15,756
Well, I'm glad you had a good laugh.
378
00:20:16,673 --> 00:20:19,092
You know, I was an idiot
to think you actually liked me.
379
00:20:19,676 --> 00:20:20,844
I did like you.
380
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,931
- I do like you.
- Yeah, right.
381
00:20:24,514 --> 00:20:26,642
You know what? You fool me once and--
382
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:30,979
Well, I don't know the rest of the saying,
but you are not gonna fool me again.
383
00:20:32,189 --> 00:20:34,483
At the mall, in the car, at home,
384
00:20:34,483 --> 00:20:36,068
all the times you weren't hugging me,
385
00:20:37,527 --> 00:20:38,695
I liked talking to you.
386
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,198
[laughs] Oh.
387
00:20:43,158 --> 00:20:44,076
Oh.
388
00:20:44,076 --> 00:20:45,827
All the times you weren't hugging me.
389
00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,497
Oh, sorry.
390
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:53,126
So, what was your favorite part
about talking to me?
391
00:20:54,294 --> 00:20:56,338
- All the words you mispronounced.
- Oh!
392
00:20:58,548 --> 00:21:00,092
You are hilarious!
393
00:21:01,260 --> 00:21:04,846
There is no way I'm letting them
kick my hilarious sister out of school.
394
00:21:09,685 --> 00:21:11,687
[closing theme music playing]